Talking about spirituality and aging seems to be a topic that many shy away from entirely. Often, people see this as a topic that is private, personal or not important at all. Yet, many are surprised to find that once they feel comfortable about their own sense of spirituality this dialogue becomes easier. Why is this dialogue important?
By clarifying the values and beliefs held by our parents we are provided with a foundation for many choices and decisions that must be/should be made in later life. We can use this information in assisting our parents as they cope with the varied challenges they face as they age.
Concern around one’s own beliefs that are different or in conflict with their elder parents may cause discomfort. It is important to realize that you are not having this dialogue to convert your parents, or they us, but rather to take on the task of listening to and understanding what it is they honor and what they value. One need not have a conversation about a belief in a higher power, about death and dying or about an existence after death. Rather, one should enter into a dialogue to explore what it is that gives them purpose, what grounds them, what they treasure, what sustains them. Exploring how they want to be remembered is a wonderful place to begin.
Start with a discussion of a renewed life purpose. This helps many elders struggling with their own sense of worth in aging and helps them affirm their place in the larger world.
What legacy they wish to leave behind is a wonderful way to help them realize that they can make lasting contributions:
- What have you learned in your life?
- What stories do you want to pass on?
- What lessons do you hope your loved ones have learned from you?
- What qualities do you want to pass on?
Life Review offers an opportunity for one to make sense of their life story. Making peace with past mistakes, remembering joyous times and healing from past hurts while passing down these stories offers the elder a spiritual gift.
Comments