My favorite quote about communication is by George Bernard Shaw, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” We are all talking and texting and e-mailing and blogging all the time, but are we truly communicating? What does it take to really, effectively communicate? I learned everything I know about effective communication from my grandmother.
My grandparents came over from Italy in the late 1800’s. They were poor immigrant children barely sixteen years old who were coming to America to build a new life. What a terrifying prospect. I look at my own teenagers and try to imagine putting them on a ship to a foreign land where they do not even speak the language, hoping they can build a better life for themselves. It is not something I can wrap my mind around. Yet that is exactly what my grandparents, and many other immigrants, did. Amazing!
They had to navigate their way through Ellis Island and get jobs and find housing, all without speaking a word of English. Yet somehow they managed to do all these things. With hard work and determination they started their lives. Before they knew it they had 9 children. My mother was number 7. All their children spoke Italian at home and learned English at school. The kids were not allowed to speak English at home. My grandparents thought this was disrespectful. Their kids moved easily in these parallel worlds of Old Italian traditions and modern American ways. Before long the kids got married and at last count there were 27 grandchildren. I am the youngest of the brood.
Holidays at Grandma and Grandpa’s were interesting for the grandkids. Not a single one of us was taught to speak Italian. I only knew a few curse words I learned watching my uncles play cards at the dining room table after dinner had been cleared away. But my grandma always talked to me. She loved pulling us on her lap and telling us stories about the old country. I understood almost none of the words she spoke but I understood the beauty and joy in her tale from the cadence of her voice. I knew she loved me from her smiles and frequent hugs.
Many years later I would become a registered nurse and start working with developmentally disabled
children and adults. Many of these patients were non-verbal and some were very low functioning. I found a way to communicate with all of them. Sometimes all they could do was blind once for “yes” and twice for “no.” It is amazing how long and complicated a conversation you can still have. With other patients I learned to read facial expressions, body language, different sounds they made, or how they responded to my touch. Every time I found a unique way to communicate with my special patients, I would remember Grandma and all she taught me about communicating through touch and the sound of her voice. I know I have reached many of my patients because of the lessons my little Italian grandma taught me so many years ago. My patients and I thank you Grandma.
As they approach their twilight years, there's a need for us to deepen our communication with our seniors. Because of physical and mental challenges that accompany aging, we need to understand the way they convey their fears, worries, anger, and joy. For homebound seniors who are receiving in-home care, the client's family and the home care agency should increase their level of collaboration and communication with each other to make sure care is administered properly. There must be a care management software in place to ensure that all tasks are fulfilled with accuracy and transparency.
Posted by: ClearCare | September 21, 2011 at 02:20 PM