Freedom Eldercare Blog

“What does Grandma want for the Holidays?” By Nicole Brierty, Media Coordinator of Freedom Home Healthcare

            Thanksgiving has come and gone and it’s officially time to jump into the holiday season!  Although most retailers kicked off the festivities just before Halloween even rolled around, we are now down to the wire.  If you haven’t started thinking about your holiday shopping, its time to begin.

            For the past few years, there has been an economic standstill that has affected many of our budgets.  If we are going to spend the money on gifts, especially our elderly loved ones; we want to make sure that the gifts are practical.  Be sure to give them gifts they will use, gifts that won’t create clutter.  Don’t go crazy this year about what to get Grandma and Grandpa or your elderly Aunts or Uncles.

Gifts that are useful to your elderly loved ones can be:

• Stationary
• Body lotions, hand lotions, shampoos, etc.
• Herbal teas or their favorite coffees
• Sweaters, scarves or gloves
• Soft and comfy slippers
• Flashlights or emergency radios
• Home made cookies or cakes

Some of our elderly loved ones are dealing with vision loss.  No need to worry you can buy them:

• Telephones or clocks with large numbers
• Books or magazines with large print
• Magnifying glasses (if your grandma is fashionable, be sure to look for one that’s chic and stylish!)

        Some of our seniors have their pets that they love and adore and a gift for their furry friends can make them just as happy as receiving a gift for themselves. 

• Hearty supplies of dog or cat food is always helpful
• Bones, toys, leashes and collars (again…make sure the accessories are trendy for your hip loved one!)
• Pet beds

        Some seniors are very active and are still extremely independent during their activities of daily living.  Gifts that may be helpful for the “always on the go” loved one, can be:

• Cloth shopping bags or supermarket gift cards
• Your loved one a movie lover?  Give them gift certificates to the local theater (it’s sure to satisfy!)

        There are a lot of seniors out there who need help around the house, taking care of themselves, or simply just need a companion.  Some seniors may not want to pay for it themselves, treat them to ongoing home care assistance on either a short term or regular basis.

        The most valuable gift of all…the one that your elderly loved one will cherish the most, is time with you and their family.  Be there to help and listen.  Go shopping with them and use those cloth shopping bags and gift cards, go to the movies together or even use that new dog leash and go for a walk on a beautiful winter’s day.  Your time is a gift that they will never forget.

Happy Holidays!

       

"Rules for Happiness" By, Candy Blau, MA, Senior Client Relations Director of Freedom Home Healthcare

In the 18^th century, Imanuel Kant, a Prussian writer and philosopher wrote the following:

Rules for Happiness:

- Something to do,
- Someone to love,
- Something to hope for.

I recently came across a paperweight which proclaimed the Five Simple Rules for Happiness :

- Free your heart from hatred.
- Free your mind from worries.
- Live simply.
- Give more.
- Expect less.

All the lists in the world won’t help you achieve happiness unless it is purposefully sought and strived for.  Happiness is a fleeting state, when you feel it, embrace it and be grateful. Happiness is a choice, choose it.

 

     

"On Giving Thanks" By Melissa V. Sirola, RN, BSN, MBA , Clinical Director, Private Duty Nursing of Freedom Home Healthcare

        This is the time of year we all count our blessings.  I am blessed with three beautiful children and many wonderful friends.  Like many of you, my children are the most important things in my life.  I am so proud of them and the fine young adults they have become.  They are all different and unique.  I love them unconditionally and completely.  I am sure many of you have similar feelings about your children.

        I am also thankful for my job.  We all spend so much of our lives at work and should love what we do.  I raised my children to understand that they should choose a profession that fills their souls.  They should do something useful with their lives; something that makes a significant contribution to the world.  I am a homecare nurse.  I love my job.  On a daily basis I get to help people.  I get to help children and adults live the fullest lives they are capable of living.  I help families keep sick children and loved ones with them at home where they belong.  I help families understand what is happening with the disease process affecting their loved ones and help them cope.  Wow….what an honor to be able to serve and help.  I also get to help and support the nurses and caregivers who work for me.  People forget that the nurses and aides who help us also need support and assistance to do their jobs effectively.  As a Clinical Director I get to support and encourage many nurses and aides who then help many more patients.  What an honor and privilege.  I have been a nurse for 15 years and have been humbled and honored the entire time. 

        So, as this Thanksgiving season approaches I encourage all of you to find something to be thankful
 for each and every day.  Whether it is the overwhelming joy of a new grandchild or the successes (and even the failures) of our children or something as simple as a beautiful sunset, enjoy it and be thankful.  And, if someone is taking care of you whether it is a family member, friend, companion, home health aide, or nurse take a moment to say “thank you” to people who seldom hear those words but are thankful each day for the opportunity to care for you.

     

"Great Expectations – From Our Parents As They Age" By, Barbra London, MSW, LCSW, LNHA, Senior Vice President of Freedom Home Healthcare

        It never ceases to amaze me that as long as I have worked with the elderly and their families I continue to be surprised by how many grown children keep expecting things from their parents that they just can’t give!

        “Dutiful daughters” who seek, until the last breathe of their mothers’ lives, the “thank you” or “I love you” they have been dreaming of since childhood but somehow has never been forthcoming are almost always left with feelings of anger and disappointment.

        Though there can be change in the mother-daughter relationship of an adult to adult one, this is often
 the most difficult of all relationships to achieve.  On countless occasions, I have experienced daughters, in frustration, questioning “when will my mother show me the love I deserve?”  The real answer rests within ourselves.  That is, we cannot change our mothers.  We have to stop expecting things from them they cannot give.  We must find the change within ourselves.  The only power we have to control is how we allow the behaviors of our mothers to affect us!  When we allow mothers (or anyone in our lives for that matter) to “push our buttons”, we give up our control to respond in a certain manner.  To manage our responses and learn to take care of ourselves is the first step to enjoying an adult to adult relationship with our parents, and others.

        This is a long, sometimes painful, but almost always rewarding journey. It starts with the desire to change a relationship.  It can often end with a great sense of empowerment, growth and personal reward.  Remember that no one can make us “feel bad” about ourselves unless we allow them!

     

"Dementia and Alzheimer’s" By, Nick Kirby of Freedom Home Healthcare

        I’ve attended two community events concerning dementia in the last two weeks. The first was a support group for people who are caring for their parents or spouse or siblings who live with dementia. The other was an educational seminar about dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Both were eye opening.

        The support group was more than eye opening – it was shocking. A few of the stories of the participants in the support group were difficult to hear. Families torn apart by the burden of caring for a loved one was something I have not experienced. The different ways siblings respond to this pressure – some assuming care giving responsibility while others totally throw up their hands and walk away – was upsetting. The role that money and dividing up the estate – sometimes before the parents have passed and sometimes involving money grabs by family members at the expense of other family members – was ugly and not something I expected. As I left that session, I better understood why dementia and Alzheimer’s receive so much attention in our society. They cause great pain and stress for many, many families.

        The second event I attended, the educational seminar, reviewed the biology of dementia and
 Alzheimer’s and briefly outlined the current research being conducted in the field. This event had nowhere near the emotional impact of the support group, but was just as interesting. One thing about Americans, we like to take problems head on. That is clearly what we are doing with dementia and Alzheimer’s. We are working hard to understand the root causes of the conditions and to find ways to address the root causes. We are working hard to find ways to understand and deal with the effects of dementia and Alzheimer’s on individuals and families. I walked out of this session sobered, but with a sense we as a society are building the knowledge base and support systems we need to deal with the family and medical issues surrounding dementia and Alzheimer’s. Let’s hope so.

     

"Can Your Aging Loved One Continue to Live Alone … Safely?" By, Laura Mansfield, Manager, Media and Community Development at Freedom Home Healthcare

        As a loved one ages it may be difficult for him/her to acknowledge that they can no longer remain safely and independently at home. Seniors may not realize how much they depend on family and friends; they may believe they are truly independent. If your loved one starts to exhibit cognitive impairments or have difficulty with daily tasks and routines, it is time to evaluate whether there are safety concerns to be addressed. After reviewing the following statements, if you answered “YES” to one or more items in a category, your loved one may need some support and supervision at home.

Activities Related To Daily Living

     He/she

• is less concerned about personal hygiene (ex. – not changing clothing or showering regularly, poor dental care).
• cannot shower or dress independently
• has developed incontinence issues.
• has difficulty preparing nutritious meals
• does not consume enough liquid
• needs reminders to taking her medications

Safety

     He/she:

• has fallen one or more times in the past month.
• is unsteady when walking/standing or increasingly reliant on a walker or cane.
• has gotten into driving accidents recently, even if they are minor
• has forgotten to turn off the oven or stovetop.
• has gotten lost or disoriented when driving or walking
• has out-of-date food or spoiled food in the pantry or refrigerator  

Other

     He/she:

• has unpaid bills or other mail/newspapers piling up
• is occasionally confused by his/her surroundings, people or date/time
• is starting to have difficulty making decisions, even those that are minor
• has been hospitalized due to recurring urinary tract infections, falls or mistakes with medications
• doesn’t care to socialize or go out as often

        It is never easy opening up a dialogue with a loved one about the need for change and it make take multiple conversations to get your loved one “on board”. The sooner you being to broach the subject, the sooner your loved one can safely regain an independent lifestyle … and you can regain peace of mind.

     

“Creating a Safe Environment for Those Who Have Experienced a Stroke”

According to the National Stroke Association, there are several tips and tricks to making a house more accessible for those who have experienced a stroke.

 

Forty percent of stroke survivors suffer serious falls within a year after their strokes.

 

To avoid falls:

 

• Clear paths to the kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom.
• Move electrical cords out of pathways.
• Wear non-skid shoes and avoid slick surfaces.
•  Remove loose carpets and runners in hallways and stairwells or fasten them with non-skid tape to improve traction.
• Replace thick carpeting with lower pile carpeting to make wheelchair or walker movement easier.
• Install handrails for support in going up and down stairs and check to make sure they’re securely
  fastened to the wall.
• Consider stair glides, stair lifts, and platform lifts if stairs are required. 

 

Doing laundry will be less challenging with a few simple changes:

 

• Move laundry machines to a place where they are easily accessible.
• Stackable, front-loading machines may be easier to reach and take up less space.
• Use easy-to-reach, labeled detergents and laundry supplies.
• Have easy-to-read markings for wash settings.
• Use a nearby table or cart at the right height for sorting and folding.
• Use an ironing board that folds down from the wall. 

 

Making the bedroom safe and comfortable:

 

• Install a light switch near the bed.
• Move/reorganize clothes and personal items to make them easier to access.
• Use a nightlight and clear a path for easy access to the toilet at night.
• Keep a commode chair near the bed.
• Consider placing disposable “blue pads” underneath the sheets. 

 

Adjusting to challenges in the kitchen:

 

• If possible, use a stove with push-button controls at the front.
• Install automatic shut-off controls.
• Mount an over-the-stove mirror to help see stovetop contents if cooking while seated.
• Keep a clear space near the stove to place a hot pot or pan quickly
• Have oven mitts on hand.
• Keep a fire extinguisher nearby.
• Adjust the kitchen table so it is the right height for a wheelchair or for a chair with arms that supports posture. 

 

Special utensils help people with physically-impaired arms and hands at the table:

 

• Flatware with built-up handles which are easier to grasp.
• Rocker knives for cutting food with one hand.
• Attachable rings which keep food from being pushed off the plate accidentally. 

 

Helpful bathroom devices:

• Grab bars in shower or tub.
• Sturdy handrails.
• Raised toilet seat or toilet chair.
• Tub bench.
• Adjustable or handheld showerhead.
• Bathing supplies that are easy to reach and use.
• Easy-to-use water control knobs with easy-to-see settings or long-handled levers.
• Non-slip flooring strips installed inside and outside of the tub.
• Long-handled brush.
• Squeeze bottles and soap pumps.
• Washing mitt with pockets for soap.
• Soap-on-a-rope.
• Electric toothbrush.
• Flip-top toothpaste tube.
• Electric razor.
• One-piece faucet with lever handles or long extensions, allowing water to be turned on and off with a fist or arm movement.
• Cut-out or roll-under sink, which allows room for legs underneath the sink while seated.
• Suction pads to hold grooming tools or bottles in place on a counter, requiring just one hand to pick up or use.

Resource: National Stroke Association is the leading national non-profit organization devoting all of its efforts and resources to
 stroke. NSA provides the most up-to-date information on prevention, treatment, rehabilitation, and support for stroke survivors and their families. For more information on NSA contact 1-800-STROKES or visit www.stroke.org.

 

     

 

"What Would You Do?" By, Janet Pincu, MSW, LCSW, CALA, Senior Director of Client Services at Freedom Home Healthcare

        Sitting in my doctor’s office waiting room recently I couldn’t help but notice a woman sitting nearby.  She appeared annoyed, anxious and distracted.  Eventually an older woman, accompanied by her adult son, arrived and joined this woman.  It became apparent she and the gentleman were the adult children to the older woman.

        The conversation that followed amongst the three centered on Mom’s displeasure with having a home health aide in her home.  I surmised that Mom had just been discharged from a rehab center and the children were concerned about her safety.  Mom was worried that the aide living with her was bored and wanted to go home.  Brother and Sis were none to happy with Mom’s obvious resistance to home care and continued to make that clear.

        Eventually the siblings began a discourse on the advantages of an assisted living facility that they had just visited – apparently without Mom.  Daughter, with eyes focused on her newspaper, spoke of the bingo, the cooking class, and the arts and crafts.  Mom, with her eyes focused on a magazine, commented on how she never participated in these activities in her lifetime so why would she start now!!??

        Mom commented on how “no one could believe she was going to that place.”   She continued to argue why she wanted to remain in her home, how she was perfectly able to live on her own.

        And Daughter and Son continued to argue their case – for all in this waiting room to hear.  Increasingly angry with and disrespectful towards Mom this discussion escalated with Mom becoming more and more distressed.

        I became more uncomfortable as I was forced to witness what should have been a very private, though difficult, discussion within this family.  I was tempted to intervene in some way but restrained myself (NOT easy!)  At one point I looked around for the cameras thinking this might have been part of that TV program “What Would You Do?”

        The experience has stayed with me - Was there something I should have done differently?